Why Narcissists Act Like Nothing Happened
You’ve seen it play out before. A narcissist hurts you — lies, betrays, screams, or disappears, then waltzes back in like nothing happened, with no apology. No explanation. Just… casual conversation as if the past never existed.
It’s maddening. It’s confusing. And worst of all, it works because they’ve trained you to accept it.
So why do they do this? And how can you break free from their mind games?
1. They’re Testing Your Boundaries
Narcissists don’t “forget” what they did. They pretend to forget because they’re checking if you’ll let them get away with it. If you stay silent, they learn they can keep hurting you without consequences.
Think about it: If someone punches you in the face, then asks what’s for dinner like nothing happened, would you let it slide? Of course not. But narcissists do this emotionally, and they count on you to excuse it.
2. They See You as an Object, Not a Person
To a narcissist, people are like toys — useful when they want to play, ignored when they’re bored. When they hurt you and act like it never happened, it’s because they don’t care how you feel.
You’re not a person with emotions to them. You’re just a supply, someone who gives them attention, validation, or control. And if you let them back in without holding them accountable, they’ll keep treating you like a doormat.
3. They Avoid Accountability at All Costs
Narcissists hate taking responsibility. Admitting they hurt you would mean facing their own flaws, and that’s a threat to their fragile ego.
So instead, they:
Gaslight you (“Why are you still upset? That was so long ago!”)
Play the victim (“You’re too sensitive! You’re the one causing problems!”)
Rewrite history (“That never happened. You’re imagining things.”)
Their goal? Make you doubt your own memory so they never have to apologize.
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4. They Live in a Fantasy World
Narcissists don’t operate in reality. They create their own version of events where they’re always the hero and you’re the irrational one.
That’s why they can:
Cheat and claim you drove them to it.
Scream at you and say you provoked them.
Ghosts you for weeks and returns like you’re the clingy one.
They don’t feel guilt because, in their minds, they did nothing wrong.
5. They Want to Keep You Hooked
If a narcissist apologized, you might heal and move on. But if they act like nothing happened, you stay stuck, wondering, waiting, hoping for closure.
That confusion? That’s exactly what they want. The longer you’re trapped in their mind games, the longer they can control you.
How to Break Free
Stop expecting an apology. They won’t give you one because they don’t believe they did anything wrong.
Trust your memory. If you know they hurt you, don’t let them convince you otherwise.
Go no contact. The only way to win their game is to stop playing. Block, delete, and walk away.
Focus on healing. Therapy, self-care, and strong boundaries will rebuild what they broke.
They Know What They Did — They Just Don’t Care
Narcissists aren’t forgetful. They’re manipulative. They act like nothing happened because it benefits them not because they’ve changed.
You deserve better than their mind games. You deserve peace.
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